Hey, do you have Freehand windows program version?? I need help about it...

I'm sorry for this journal start entry but we are using it for some designs in most of our works. And it's very dificult to get, except if you buy it, but....is there another options??

And about me, I've to say I'm very ill, I'm not okay from my health and I have to go to the doctor..... or hospital. I'm aging prematurely, my face can't be watched for much time, I'm going through a very bad time. But I don't want to left my studies and my life for that, and I won't surrender until I DIE!!! is it clear??

So..... can you help me with Freehand???